Homesick for a Home I've Left Behind.

It is day (night) two of my college experience. So far I have done roughly 9 hours of homework, attended 5 classes, slept not nearly enough, and cried more times than I can count. Is it too early to say that I can't wait for this semester to be over?

I moved into the Mountain Loft apartments in Rexburg Idaho on Friday September 11th, 2015. My Mom and I made the trek (roughly a four hour drive) to Idaho the Thursday before, so we wouldn't have to wake up at 5 A.M. on my move in day. I said goodbye to my little brothers before they left for school that Thursday morning, and wrote a goodbye to them on the sidewalk outside my house for them to find when they got back. Just before I left, I had to say goodbye to my Dad. He sat me down, and taught me a very important lesson that really touched my heart. The gist of it was "You don't have to be the best, to be good enough for The Lord". Needless to say, there were many tears shed as he then told a story about my childhood, and a reunion he and I had shared after spending some time apart when I was six. I don't know exactly when I will get to see my Dad again, but I know that reunion will be just as sweet as the one 12 years ago.
We said our final goodbyes, hugged one last time, and my Mom and I hit the road. She drove the suburban with all of my things piled into it, and I drove my 1999 Honda Civic, praying that it would get there in one piece.
 We reached Idaho Falls where we would spend the night without much incident, and at 10 o'clock the next day started moving me into my new apartment in Rexburg. None of it seemed real. I felt like I was simply going to a camp, or to EFY again. Later, I met with my I-team, which was basically a bunch of freshman who don't know what they're doing, running around campus with two "counselors" (not really) trying to figure out how to navigate this gigantic school before having to go to class that Monday. So that was fun.
I ditched my I-team a little early that Friday, so that I could go on one last grocery shopping trip with my Mom. She bought me enough groceries to last me until the end of the semester. I kid you not. My entire cupboard is full of food. My fridge is overflowing. The freezer won't close. But hey. No complaints here.
After the adventure of fighting our way through the parent filled Walmart(and Albertsons), we made our way back to the apartment, and unloaded everything. At this point it was getting pretty late, and my Mom still had a four hour drive ahead of her, so we decided it was time to part ways. I walked her out to her car as she was listing off things that I still needed to do, quietly reassuring her that I was going to be just fine. She engulfed me in one more hug that didn't last long enough, before looking me in the eyes and asking one more time: "Are you okay?"
Fighting back the tears, I told her I was doing great, and that I was excited to start this new chapter in my life. She got into her car, and I blew her a kiss before disappearing back into my hall so that she couldn't see me cry. That night, my roommate was staying with her Mom in a hotel before she had to leave, so I sat on my bed putting pictures on my wall as the tears rolled down my face, leaving lines on my cheeks where the makeup was gradually washed away.
I was alone.
My parents were gone.
I had no friends.
I had no one to turn to.
So I turned to The Lord.
I prayed harder that night than I have in a while. I poured out my heart to him. Told him how scared I was. How unsure of myself I am. Told him how much I already missed the familiar faces that I saw not too long ago.
And he heard me. I know that he did.
My roommates have been such a blessing to me. They are so funny, and so kind. I was definitely placed with them for a reason.
I recently got a calling in my YSA ward. I am so grateful for this opportunity to be able to serve my new ward family, and get to know them a little better.
All of my classes are amazing. We always start with a hymn and a prayer, and you can feel the spirit so strongly no matter where you are on campus.
I'm still trying to make friends, haven't really done that yet, nor have I gotten asked on any dates. That will all happen with time.
I hope.

So it is only day two (technically day 5), and I am very homesick for a home that I've left behind.

But then again, it is only day two and I have so much to look forward to.

If you wouldn't mind sending some prayers my way I would greatly appreciate it.
I love you all so much.
I love this gospel and testify of its truthfulness. The Lord is always here. He is always with us. He will never forsake us.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

September. Single digits.

I move to Idaho in 9 days.

Sorry I'm not sure if you read that right. I move out of the state of Utah, where all of my friends and family are, into the great unknown, by myself, IN 9 DAYS.

I am so excited. My semester at BYU-I starts unusually late (September 14th), so while all of my friends have been attending class for the past week, settling into their dorms, and getting used to the whole "college" thing, I have been sitting in my parents house, with nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to do things with. (Except the occasional non-college going friend.) Can you see how this could get boring after a while?
I am ready to go. I have a "College corner" in my room, where everything that I am going to take to college with me is currently sitting. I have everything I need, except for some kitchen supplies that I will need for my apartment.
Unfortunately, along with moving out comes some other adult things. These things include, but are not limited to: If I am going to stay at BYU-I or transfer to a different school next semester, If I am going to move back in with my parents this December, if I am going to serve a mission (currently I am leaning towards yes, but this is still something I need to really think about), if I really want to pursue psychology or if I am destined for something else.. So on and so forth. I know that I am the only one that can make these decisions, but sometimes I really wish someone would sit me down, and tell me what would bring me the most happiness.
I know that I need to pray, and fast about these things (and trust me. I have.), but that doesn't make it any easier when there are so many things that I need to decide in a short amount of time. Also, I am the type of person so second guess my decisions, just because I am afraid to make the wrong one, and screw everything up. One time, it took me like.. 3 full minutes to decide what type of bread to get at the store. So, any advice from you guys would help me out.
Adulting is hard guys.
I really wish high school had had a class entitled: "How to Land on Your Feet Once You Graduate and are Thrown Into the Adult World of Taxes, Bills, College, Marriage, and Decision Making". I feel like a lot of students, including myself, would have benefited in taking a class like this.

In other news, Elder Tolen has been out on his mission for 11 months today! He is almost half way done! How crazy. Time flies I guess. If I do decide to serve a mission, I will most likely leave before he gets home, so I won't actually see him for roughly another 31 months... That's gross. But hey. We will see what happens right?
I love asking him for advice. I can feel the spirit through his words. I mean, I don't always follow his advice because a lot of the time it consists of "Nope break up with this boy", or "post better stuff on my Instagram page", but other than that he really helps me to know what I should do. So I really do take all of his advice into serious consideration. Even the examples above. I have a testimony that when we are doing what we should be, and we are in tune with the spirit, we can receive answers to our questions and our prayers. But a lot of the time The Lord is going to let you make the decision, and stand behind you on it, if it is what you should do. If not, he will be there when we fail. Our goal in this life is to become like God, and how are we supposed to do that if he makes all of our decisions for us, right? "God can't move a parked car".
Are you a parked car, waiting for God to do something? Or are you a moving car, ready for God to direct your path, and lead you to places you never dreamed of driving to?

I guess I should listen to my own advice.
Goodnight everyone.