Grateful.

Grateful comes from the word grātus, which is Latin for "to welcome, greet, praise." We use the word 'grateful' when we are accounting for things that we are appreciative of. For example, I am grateful for my mom letting me use her rewards card at the gas station, even though I steal her 'free hot drink' reward whenever it comes up.
I am grateful for my younger brothers reminding me to be an example, and always letting me know that they love me.
I am grateful for my older brother, who is one of my best friends even when he is on the other side of the world (He is serving an LDS mission in Tokyo Japan currently, he has been gone for almost 17 months).
I am grateful for my Dad, for his example and for how hard he works.
I am grateful for my very loving boyfriend, who goes out of his way to bring light into my life every opportunity he can.
I am grateful for friends.
I am grateful for the gospel.
I am grateful for the mountains that I am surrounded by.
I am grateful.
I have had a very blessed life so far, and I don't want to take that for granted.

But like everyone else, through this life, I have had to walk through storms. I have had to stand in the dark, not sure where to run, and I have had to cling on to a hope that there will be better days.
One example of this, which I do tell a lot because it changed me in ways that I can't even explain, was the death of a dear friend when I was 15 years old.

We sat next to each other in our French 1 class, ate lunch together, hung out at parties, so on and so forth. Things that friends do.

One day I was sitting in French, waiting for him to sit down next to me so I could tell him... some little thing I can't remember anymore. The bell rang. He wasn't there. I thought he was sick, so I started writing a note to one of my other friends, when the teacher got up with a paper. There were tears in his eyes. I knew something was wrong. The words he said next I will never forget, because they shattered my happy little 15 year old universe.

"I am sorry to say that our dear friend _________ has passed away. If you need to talk to someone, you can go to the library now."

All eyes were on me.
I wasn't moving.
I wasn't breathing.
Tears were hitting my desk. But from where? Were they coming from me?

In that moment, I had forgotten how to function. When a different friend in the class got up, coaxed me out of my chair and into the hall, trying to get me to the library. I don't remember how I got from the upstairs classroom to the library down the stairs. I only remember collapsing against the lockers, while sobs rocked my entire body.

The rest of that day was a complete blur. I sat in the library with the people in my friend group, Zach (my older brother) came and held me for a good five minutes while I just cried, I went home, I didn't come out of my room. I didn't talk to anyone for a week. I didn't eat anything for a month. I just... shut down completely.

Until one day, it didn't hurt anymore. I was reading my scriptures, or a conference talk, and all of a sudden a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

I am grateful.

I am grateful for my time that I got to spend with my dear friend.
I am grateful for the gospel and my family pulling me out of that hole.
I am grateful for that trial.

What?
I am grateful for something completely awful?
Am I Satan?
No. I am grateful for the things I learned out of that trial. I developed closer relationships to those friends that I went through that with. I developed a closer relationship to my older brother. I learned how to cope with things like depression, grief, anorexia, heartbreak. Things that 15 year olds shouldn't have to endure. But I will have those lessons with me for the rest of my life.

That isn't the only trial I have ever had to go through, but it is one of the big ones. All I am saying is that I am grateful for the storms that the Lord has helped me walk through, because I have grown as a person, as a sister, as a daughter, as a future wife and mother.


I have grown
So I am grateful.

The Pothole I Related to Life

I've got a lot of growing up to do.
Now you may read that sentence, and chuckle thinking, "heck yeah you do girl. You're like 12."
Believe me.
I know.

A couple of days ago I was driving to my parents house to grab a blouse that I had left there, and to maybe steal some food from their fridge when I hit a pothole. A nasty thing in the middle of the road. I assumed my car was fine, and kept on trucking (pun intended) until the top of the road, where upon trying to turn, I realized that my car was not going anywhere. I thought I popped a tire (which also would have been bad because I don't know how to change a tire, and I'm not sure my car even has a spare... Huh I should probably figure that out. Sorry. Tangent), so I flipped on my hazards, got out of my vehicle and discovered that my two front tires were facing opposite directions. "Well.. That's not good" I thought to myself (actually that's the 'G' rated version of what I thought to myself, but since many people will be reading this I will leave it at that.) I figured that I must have busted my axle or something car related like that.

Luckily, being the mature adult that I am, I knew what to do.

I called my Dad.
My dad answered, I explained the situation, and he very calmly told me to call my mother.
So, slightly fearful, I did.
She didn't answer.
I called again.
And like the first time, and the time after that and the time after that, she didn't answer.

The whole time this was happening, around seven people had stopped to ask me if I was okay, and if I needed help. I kindly told them no thank you, and they merrily went on their way, until three God sent men, quite possibly the three Nephites *mormon chuckle*, got out of their cars, and without even asking me, pushed my car to the side of the road. I expressed my gratitude and they vanished. Not really, they actually just drove away but same thing.

I then did the only other thing I knew how to do, and called my insurance company (yes I do know how to do adult things. Luckily I have a very old car, so I had done this before). I explained to them the situation, they called for a tow, and that was that.

I was not far from my parents house at this point, so I left my keys under the mat of my drivers seat for the tow truck, gathered whatever I needed from my car and started walking.

On my way there, my mom called.
I got yelled at.
I cried.
We moved on.
You see, this was not the first time that I have broken my car. There was an incident where I slid off of a cliff but that's a different story. I don't wanna talk about it.

Anyways.
My car had a broken tire rod. Midas replaced it, and I got it back the next day.

Right about now you may be wondering what the point of this story is.
I am too.
I guess it's really just to reassure myself that I can do adult things, like call for a tow truck to have my car fixed.
But maybe it's to reassure you.
Maybe you're at a point in your life where you just hit a pothole, and your car isn't moving. The situation looks bad. You did NOT need this thing added onto your worries. You don't want to accept someones help.
I want to tell you that I have been there. More times than I can count. I have hit that pothole. I have been down that long and twisty road.
I also want to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And no, it's not the train.
There is an end to this trial, this worry, this stress.
There is hope.
There is love.
There is light.
There is Christ.

There is a tow truck on it's way to rescue you right at this very moment.
Have faith.
"Have courage, and be kind."

Maybe your broken axle will turn out to be just a broken tire rod.
Maybe your stresses will turn out to be just a lack of a good night's sleep.

What I know is that you will be stronger after this. After whatever you are going through, you will be infinitely stronger than you were going into it.

"Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind the stronger the trees." - President Monson

Don't give up.
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot, and hold on."

Rescue will come.
Just hang on.
A pothole is simply that. A pothole.